10. Catchphrases, Part 2

10. Catchphrases, Part 2

“Capacity”

Definition: How much time you have to work on projects you are not already on

Associate, use it in a sentence: Wish I could help but I’m at like 120% of capacity and am just on too many live deals right now.

Analyst, use it in a sentence: Well I slept from 3-6am last night and will probably do the same tonight so I guess I have 3/24 of capacity left if you have more work that needs to be done.

Comment: When an associate says he is at 120% of capacity that usually means that he got in at 9:30am, was able to go to the gym and a quick meal at some point during the day for 2 hours, and left after 10pm. Damn, you are a trooper! For an analyst, capacity is really a sliding scale. Do you put yourself against your fellow analysts or do you put yourself against hours of sleep? If the rest of the analysts are not very busy and leaving before 9pm when you are staying until 2am then you can rightfully say that are at 100% capacity and can’t take on more work. Whereas if you are staying until 2am, but so is everybody else, then looks like you have some capacity! It’s all relative and I prefer to have relatively more capacity to enjoy my life and exercise.


To “Jam” or “Crank”

Definition: To work very hard

Associate, use it in a sentence: I know you’re jammed up on other stuff, but the higher ups asked us to do this analysis of company X. I’m cranking on this model for a live deal that we need to get out in the next hour, so if you could just do it that’d be great.

Analyst, use it in a sentence: Hey, can’t help right now, I’m jamming on this analysis that needs to be sent out to a bunch of head honchos in two hours. I can crank on that assignment when I’m done.

Comment: While many people associate “jamming” with basketball, and “cranking” with Soulja Boy, investment bankers live in their own world. Whereas capacity is more of a relative term, an analyst is “cranking” whenever he or she needs to finish something up in a short amount of time to avoid getting asked “Why the F are you not done yet? I told you an hour ago we needed this analysis! It’s not that friggin’ hard. Jeeez!” While it can be enjoyable to be yelled at and really gets the adrenaline pumping, I usually like to avoid it at all costs for fear of taking 10 years off of my life span. For those people who are faint of heart, this job may not be for you. In order to crank that Soulja Boy on weekends, I am usually jamming on work during the week since my associate is busy reading up on the business and trying to educate himself to be able to kiss ass better.